A guy from my high school died the other day. No cause was listed. It just said he died in his residence in Maui. He was one of my best friends for the first couple years of school. Of course after that he was probably one of my least favorite people. I think it's strange how people expect you to mourn anyone who dies, no matter what your previous relationship to them was and no matter how long it had been since you last spoke. I haven't talked to the guy in 12 years, but when my grandmother called her voice was full of fake sympathy, and I felt like I should be sad. I'm not. Later, talking to my mom it was the same thing. Oh it's so sad, etc. etc.
I probably sound like a jerk, but I just don't mourn for people that I haven't spoken to, and honestly, don't even know anymore. I've changed so much since high school and I'm sure he had, too. I'm sorry for his family. It's terrible to lose a loved one, but I shouldn't be expected to go to pieces over it.
I feel like I think about death differently than most people. I'm not afraid of it. I believe in reincarnation, so it's not the end of everything as far as I'm concerned. It's a new beginning, and who wouldn't want that? I also think that some people enjoy mourning and will take any opportunity to make someone else's tragedy their own. That drives me nuts.
So, I won't mourn for this guy. I've been thinking about when we were friends and trying to avoid the memories of when we were not. I'm trying to send positive vibes out into the world. That's the best I can do.
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