I Can't Do It All

This is the beginning of a stressful time of year. I have lots of projects going on in November. Some are ending, others beginning. This year I feel like I have too many things on my plate, and I have had to reevaluate my priorities. A couple of projects are struggling or don't have everything needed for things to go smoothly. They are things that would increase my stress greatly, and I think I'm only holding onto them because of my pride.

I have to weigh the reality of stress vs. my ego. I want to be able to do everything. However, I know myself, and I know that I am better with a couple of projects that I am able to give my full attention. I don't handle stress well. This is the time of year when it is the worst, and I am actively trying to reduce my stress with yoga and meditation. I have to accept that I can't do everything. It will be better for me and everyone else around me.

It will definitely be better for my family. This is the time of year when we burn the candle at both ends, and the kids come along with me. This year I've been very focused on cutting back on the number of things we do in the evenings, so the kids can have a calmer bed time routine. It's been great for all of us. My family is absolutely my number one priority, and it makes it a little easier to let go of projects that my ego wishes I could do.

I've been thinking about my focus. It's writing and studying right now. I have a lot of other things going on, but that is what I am thinking about the most. I have to have time to do both of those things. I need to be relaxed enough to give myself the time to work on them daily.

I have an incredibly difficult time accepting that I can't (and do not have to) do everything, but I'm working on it. I'm starting to see what's more important.

A Day of Writing

Yesterday was a fabulous day. It was cold, raining, and windy. I did have any clients, and my day was free from 9am-3pm. I spent the time writing. It was fabulous. I rarely have more than an hour or two to dedicate to writing. Yesterday felt indulgent.

It's a good thing I had the time. I've been working on a Christmas play for my students, and it has been a struggle. I wrote before about how difficult it is to create a holiday show. This one has been hard. I had it almost complete but couldn't find a way to end it. I wasn't feeling good about it. I know when something isn't working, and this script was not working.

On Monday during some brief down time between classes, I had an idea. I decided the story would be better if it focused more on the antagonist than the protagonist. The protagonist was boring and not moving the show along. The rewrites would have been extensive, and I wasn't thrilled with the plot I had. I decided to just start over.

I was excited to start over. It can be a frustrating process, but this time I knew what the story would be. I knew it would be better than the previous script. Six hours later I am one scene away from finishing the script, I know how I'm going to end it, and it's a lot better than the first draft.

Such a great, productive, creative day. It was just what I needed.