The Emptiness

Ernest Hemingway wrote about the emptiness that comes when a project is finished, and I have been experiencing that for the last couple days. The NaNoWriMo novel was an amazing experience, but it put me in such a frenzy that now that it's done, I can't look at it. I don't want to read it right now. I'm hoping I will eventually. When I finished I felt completely spent creatively. That's the emptiness. The feeling of having nothing left to say, and the fear that nothing else will ever come, that you will stay forever empty.
In some ways I'm not a very rational person, and I do not handle this fear very well. My dream is to be a writer, and the idea of having nothing left to put down on paper is absolutely terrifying. Luckily, it didn't last long this time. I'm working on a short story idea. I also have two books that need more revising, but it is hard to stay focused on revising. I need to be constantly creating.
When I'm not creating, I read. I used to read constantly, but two young children have made it difficult. I've also found that reading while I am writing something tends to distract me and taint my writing with whatever style I happen to be reading at the time. The only book I can read when I am writing is Hemingway's A Movable Feast. That book changed my life. It's what inspired me to start writing again, and gave me insight into the creation of a story.
I wonder if the emptiness is what made him shoot himself. It seems plausible. To spend your entire life writing and find that there just isn't anything left. It must happen eventually. Of course, I think great writers are all pretty messed up, lots of drinking and drugs. I try not to be afraid of the emptiness. I have theatre to help fill me up and my family to support me. So far, I am having luck with my writing. I'm satisfied with that.