I have been trying to be more relaxed in my day to day life. With two kids, two part time jobs, and a need to write, this can be difficult. I'm putting my trust in the universe. When I let things go and don't stress, I find that I get what I need and the rest is inconsequential. Yesterday is a perfect example.
I had a bad morning yesterday. It wasn't anything big or catastrophic, those are the things I handle best, but it was all little irritations and inconveniences. It all culminated with a trip to the grocery store in the pouring rain to buy cat litter. The kids were pretty good in the store, though we did almost get smashed into by someone pushing a cart full of bread way too fast around a corner. I got to the express checkout, and the old woman ahead of me had the belt piled high with groceries, and for each she had a specific bagging request. I normally don't mind these kinds of things. When I'm by myself I can wait for hours if necessary. I like people watching and the grocery store is great for that.
With kids it's a different story. My son started climbing out of the cart while his sister yelled at him and tried to pull him back in. This is not normal cart. It's a cart shaped like a car, which puts the kids in front of me and my huge bag of litter and out of reach in the narrow checkout aisle. My son started crying.
I've been in this position before, and usually the person in front of me will take notice and hurry along if possible. This woman looked at the kids, handed over a $100 bill and began to count out exact change in pennies. The cashier was looking stressed by this time, and I was about ready to explode. She slowly shuffled away while I paid for my litter. We caught up with her in the exit to the store. She was stopped, her cart blocking the entire exit, examining the advertisements in the narrow hall. She saw us standing behind her and continued reading.
When we finally got out of there, I jogged past her into the downpour and loaded my kids quickly back into their car seats. I say quickly, but it still took quite a while, and I was soaked by the time I got into the car. Two spaces over from me, parked almost diagonally across the handicapped parking space was a huge silver SUV, and the old woman was climbing behind the wheel. My irritation and stress vanished at that moment, and I laughed. It seemed like a sketch comedy act.
That is when the universe intervened. As I drove home, I was thinking about a new story I want to write. I've basically worked out the major plot points and characters, and I was ready to start writing. This is where I ran into trouble because I didn't know how to start it. I always struggle with starting a story. Once I have that first line or paragraph I'm fine, but until then it bothers me day and night, and I get very stressed about it. I started thinking about the old woman and how I should write that moment down, and that's when I found the perfect start to my new story.
It made my whole morning make more sense. I often wonder why things happen the way that they do, especially at times when everything is going wrong and life is irritating. This was my answer for yesterday morning. I had to experience the irritation and the anger to have that moment and find the beginning of my story.
